


Port of Call

by ryoku



Category: Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Canon Timeline, Gen, mention of others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 19:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6343120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryoku/pseuds/ryoku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somewhere along the way, this became something more than charity, or doing the right thing. Minato doesn't really know when, and he doesn't quite know what it is, but it's different. Things may seem the same, but they aren't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Port of Call

0

 

The boy is always standing outside Paulownia Mall. Rain or shine, before class or after a late night of karaoke, week days and week ends alike, he's always there, looking anxiously off into the distance. It looks like he's waiting for someone to show up, but it's not really any of Minato's business. It's weird for the first month that Minato is in Iwatodai, because at that point, there aren't many people with Apathy Syndrome. By the third month, it isn't so strange to see someone just sit or stand or slouch in the same place in perpetuity.

The boy is different, because he doesn't slouch, or drool, and his eyes are not vacant or unseeing. He shares the immovability that the Apathy Syndrome patients do, but nothing else. It's curious, and the unease in the boy's eyes is rather concerning, but again, it isn't any of Minato's business, and day after day, he just keeps walking by.

He wonders, sometimes, what the boy is doing there. From time to time, he notices a particular shade of gray, and his mind wanders back to the boy. On days when it's raining, he wonders if the boy has an umbrella, but, again, it isn't any of his business, so Minato chases these thoughts away, and makes sure they remain fleeting. Certainly, he's got plenty to worry about, between school, SEES, and this new and strange phenomenon that is Social Links and regular communication. It's all work work work, and it isn't that bad, but it is exhausting. He does think of the boy, who looks like he's standing still, but he doesn't come to mind too often, and never for long. Minato's life is busy for once, almost unbearably busy. He feels like he's being swept out to sea, and that he's somehow enjoying it. It's strange, in a sort of mystical sense of normalcy, that Minato never thought he'd experience. Well, with the whole hunting shadows bit too, but he took right to that. The social interaction thing is almost always harder, though he walks away from those with less injuries. The boy is also strange, but in a way that is not pressing, like all of his other obligations.

Things change one night in June, when Minato is at the arcade late into the evening. Usually, he makes a point of trying to be back before the dark hour. This has been his habit for years now, ever since he got stuck in a convenience store at age 12, because the automatic doors wouldn't open in the dark hour. It was a long hour, surrounded by food he couldn't eat, and manga he couldn't read in the dim light. Despite having this rule, there are obviously exceptions, or instances where he simply loses track of time. He learns later that he could have just pushed the doors open, but it isn't an episode he wants to repeat. This time he is trying to get a particularly troublesome Black Frost doll in the UFO machine. It takes him longer than expected, and just as the doll tumbles innocently into his hands, a testament to his endurance and skill, the lights shut off, and the strange green glow permeates the atmosphere.

Without any fanfare, Minato places his prize into his school bag, and starts to leave the mall. It's as he shuffles his way out of the mall's entrance, that he sees the boy. He isn't in a coffin, like everyone else. In fact, the boy is still standing there, looking anxiously toward the parking lot, when his eyes shift over toward Minato.

It isn't the first time their eyes meet, in fact, they exchange passing glances on an almost regular basis, but there is something different about this time. In the light of day, the boy isn't so strange to look at. He looks well put together, his school uniform immaculate and his posture ramrod straight. Normally, he looks like any other young teenager, which is to say, he doesn't quite look comfortable in his skin yet, but he has the distinct air of trying to look like he doesn't stand out. In the dim glows of the dark hour, his face is anything but ordinary. The shadows highlight the bags under his eyes, the hollowness of young cheeks and extenuate his jaw, which in the light of day is still rounded and child like, but will obviously grow into something more sharp and masculine given time.

The boy looks like a ghost in the sickly green pallor that the dark hour gives him. He looks like he's stuck in that awkward place in development, where he isn't really a boy, but isn't a man either, waiting for a future that hasn't come yet. Perpetually waiting in the same place, night after night, day after day. All of this is conveyed, in one simple exchange of glances, and Minato wonders if his strange conclusion is anything other than rampant speculation.

“You should go home.”

For whatever reason, Minato does not expected the boy to speak. He hasn't in the past. In fact, Minato can't remember ever hearing the boy speak before. Since they don't really interact, that isn't too strange, but now that Minato thinks about it, he's never seen the boy with anyone else, and he's never seen the boy casually talk to any of the numerous people passing by. The boy isn't ever on a cell phone either, which in hindsight, is a red flag that he really isn't a regular boy at all. He's probably some ethereal dooms day spirit or something. Minato thinks he has a knack for attracting those. The clear, crisp voice that reaches his ear, is unexpected.

Minato isn't quite ready to give up his theory yet, because stranger things have happened (There was one day, in May, when Junpei didn't say anything even slightly sexist or teasing to Yukari, and Yukari didn't say anything mean or degrading to Junpei, and it was perhaps one of the strangest days in Minato's current memory. The day in question has a large question mark in thick black marker on his calendar, to commemorate the oddity of it.) but the anxious, worried look that the boy gives him is enough to quiet Minato's strange thoughts. It's more pressing than usual this time.

Inquisitively, Minato tilts his head to the side, in his own way, trying to ask a question without saying anything. The boy looks away as the dark shadows play on his face, and make him look older than he is. For a moment, he looks like he's Minato's age. The worry could be about homework or club practice, or why his girlfriend is so late. It isn't any of those things, and Minato knows it, but there is something about the boy that leads his mind to wild speculations on a semi-regular basis.

“It's dangerous.” The boy finally says, one hand in his pocket, and the other fingering a lose string on his otherwise immaculate uniform. The boy looks down again, this time into a red puddle close by, before he looks back at Minato. His eyes are worried and sincere. “If you get hurt, I can't help you.”

Minato thinks about that statement for a moment, and the growing number of Apathy Syndrome patients that mill around Paulownia Mall. He thinks that it's enough.

Minato shrugs his shoulders in lieu of a response, then casually walks over to the boy, and stands beside him. He isn't very close, but the boy tenses up as if it is. Without another response, Minato leans against the wall, and closes his eyes. Whatever stuttering, small protests the boy makes falls on deaf ears. He ends up staying for the whole dark hour, and there is no incident.

It's only later, while he's in the dorm, waiting for sleep, that Minato realizes why he did that. He's good at following his instincts, at doing what feels right, when it feels right, but understanding why is sometimes very hard. It was something small in how the boy said those words. Somewhere in there, was an unspoken plea. That boy couldn't help anyone, but Minato could.

 

1

 

The concept of schedules and time management, and keeping track of things is foreign to him before moving to Iwatodai. He would go to class when he wanted to, and breeze through everything with what Yukari now calls, his characteristic nonchalance. Grades, clubs, jobs, everything had gone by without much worry or concern. His life is different now. Minato has to consider when to take out Elizabeth on an outing, and when to study, and what he needs to say to people, and time limits on requests, and the items and weapons they need to take into Tartarus, and money management, and how everyone is doing before he hauls them off to Tartarus. It's a lot, and he finds that before he knows it, the little 'Gekokkan High' day planner that Mitsuru handed him the day after he was appointed leader, is filled with appointments and reminders and dates and obligations.

At times, Minato looks at that little planner, turning the pages in his hand, and he feels dread bubble in his gut. It feels like too much to handle, too many obligations, too many people and things that need him all at once. But there are other days, when he looks at it, and he sees all the days line up, one after another, and he thinks that maybe he never really understood what living was like before.

As it were, he looks through that planner, and he can figure out more easily what he needs to do, and when he needs to do it, so that every day when he is not otherwise busy -which as it were, is maybe three times a week, sometimes less, sometimes more- he leaves the dorm at about 11:30, and walks to Paulownia Mall. There, he stands by a boy with gray hair, and gray eyes, and when the dark hour comes, and some poor soul wanders through, terrified and chased by shadows, Minato helps. Because the boy can't, and Minato can see in his eyes, that he wants to.

The boy never moves, he just stays there, often silent, often lonely, and looks off into the distance. Minato wonders if the boy looks for him now, when he isn't there.

 

2

 

They don't talk very much. Most of the time, even in the dark hour when they stand side by side, they don't talk. Sometimes, the boy mumbles something, but when Minato turns toward him, the boy looks sullen, and shakes his head. Whatever he says in those moments, is gone forever. Usually, the boy only speaks when he sees someone that needs help. The first few times that someone appears, Minato dons his sword, and the boy watches in amazement as Minato quickly dispatches the shadow.

After that, Minato finds that the nightly outings are a good chance to practice on the weapons he doesn't use much, and he often brings along a few of the old ones that his team mates have discarded. He finds the bow and arrow to be particularly useful when a lone shadow is simply milling about, but he isn't confident enough to use it to help terrorized people who run around madly. He doesn't want to accidentally feather one of them.

The boy often looks at his menagerie of weapons with curiosity, as if he wants to know where Minato finds all of them. The bow and arrow are not so strange, and neither are the regular boxing gloves, but everything else is highly suspect. Even still, the boy doesn't ask about them. One day at the beginning of July, Minato brings one of Junpei's long swords with him. The way the boy's gray eyes catch on the weapon is a little more compelling than the others, and without a word, Minato offers the weapon over. The boy blinks at him, a little skittish for a moment, before reaching out to take it. Unsurprisingly, the sword clatters right out of his hand. It's probably too heavy. The kid doesn't look over 14, so he still has a bit of growing to do.

Minato expects him to lean down, and pick up the weapon again, but the boy doesn't. He looks at the item in dismay, and leaves it laying there. Eventually, Minato retrieves it himself, and puts the weapon back in it's case. He prefers the bow and arrow, or the smaller sword anyway. Junpei's weapons are a pain to carry around.

 

3

 

Most of the shadows he runs into in front of Paulownia Mall, are easy to dispatch. So easy, that he can rely on cheap items and his own physical attacks to dispel them. They're weak, and isolated. Usually, it's only one small little shadow wandering about. Normal humans are easy prey, there's no need for any excess force.

The first time Minato runs into a shadow of decent strength on his own, is in mid July. It's a hot, humid night, but the dark hour saps all the heat out of the air, and just makes it sticky and cold. The rapid change in temperature feels like a bad thing, and he knows from personal experience, that a bad time in the dark hour can easily lead to a cold the next day. Sometimes, for two days. If he falls sick now, that will push back his schedule a few days, and he doesn't want that. The shadow isn't too strong. If he wasn't feeling so bad, he'd be able to eliminate it much faster, but he is feeling bad, and when that happens he's prone to making mistakes. There's no one that's going to pick up his slack here, do he does the most natural thing.

Without even really thinking about it, Minato pulls out his evoker, and shoots. Seiryuu roars and shimmers into being, quickly dispelling the shadow. When he turns back around, the boy is on his knees, staring up at the glistening form of Seiryuu, and then looking at him in abject horror.

Doing this, summoning personas, killing shadows, is all second nature to him now. It's part of the process, part of what makes him who is, and why he's important. It's become a definitive part of him, but looking at that boy's fear reminds him that it isn't everything. It is a means to an end, and he's reminded of that. For almost every day for the past four months, Minato has used his evoker. It's sort of interesting, that it's shaped like a gun, and he puts it right to his head like a gun, and he pulls the trigger time and time again. If he does something enough times, it becomes natural, normal, and there are expected outcomes. He forgets that this boy doesn't realize it's an evoker. To him, it is a gun, because it is, in a way, a gun, and someone just blew their brains out in front of him. Even if that didn't really happen, that must have been the boy's expectation. Minato feels some sort of shame come to him, because this distress is at his expense, and he didn't even consider it an issue.

The boy's shoulders are shaking, and he lowers his head. Minato doesn't know what he should do. He tentatively takes a few steps closer, but stops before he's actually close. He doesn't know what to do. The boy takes a shallow breath, his shoulders still shaking, and looks up at him with red, angry eyes.

“Don't do that again.” And it's sad, cause it's the clearest thing the boy has ever said, and with more conviction than Minato thinks he has.

All he can do, is answer. “I have to.”

 

4

 

Minato returns the next day, and it's like the event last night didn't happen. The boy looks at him differently, like he's going to leave and never come back, but they don't talk. He's grateful. He still doesn't know what to say.

 

5

 

When they return from Yakushima, Minato leaves earlier than usual to take up his post outside Paulownia Mall. This is for one reason, two if he's being honest. The first, is because he is worried that Aigis will chase after him if he leaves too late. Aigis is kind, but very attached. Minato is only recently learning what being attached really means, he isn't sure he's ready for Aigis yet.

As always, the boy is still standing outside Paulownia Mall, but when Minato comes into view, their eyes meet. The boy is happy to see him. This might be wishful thinking on Minato's part, but for at least that one moment, Minato is sure he's right. He takes up his post beside the boy with gray hair, and for the few hours they have before the dark hour, they watch people together.

 

6

 

Somewhere along the way, this became something more than charity, or doing the right thing. Minato doesn't really know when, and he doesn't quite know what it is, but it's different. Things may seem the same, but they aren't.

He starts coming during the day at some point, just sitting by the boy, and watching as the world passes by. They talk more, but still not a lot. One day, the boy asks what his name is, and Minato supplies it. The boy doesn't give his own, and for days after Minato wonders if he should have asked. He wants to know.

Minato finds himself thinking of the boy more often than usual. When he's in school, he reminisces about sitting out and watching the clear blue sky outside the mall. When he's visiting Bunkichi and Mitsuko, he wonders what kind of books the boy would like to read. Between fights in Tartarus, he wonders if he's okay, alone there. He's never seen the shadows take any interest in the boy with the gray hair, but Minato finds himself worrying anyway.

What prompts this realization, is that one day he is just gazing out at the sky with the boy. They aren't saying much, just a little small talk here and there (and with them, it really is small talk), when Fuuka spots him, and walks over. She smiles, bright and earnest, and says “Yukari said you'd be here.” What she says after that is important too, but it doesn't plague his mind for weeks like that one statement does.

Something is very different, and Minato has to wonder if it's only him that has changed. Some days when the boy sees him coming, he smiles brightly, and Minato thinks that it must be both of them. But there are days when the boy looks lost, in his own, strange little frozen world, helpless and alone. Minato doesn't know if anything has changed on those days.

 

7

 

Somehow, the boy can't leave. Minato knows this well before September, but it is painfully obvious on the 5th, when all of SEES, save for Junpei, march into Paulownia Mall looking for the Hermit shadow. He's the only one that notices the boy, still standing there, forlorn and alone. The others don't even bat an eye.

He noticed sooner of course, but it starts to make more sense then. Or, well, he starts to come to conclusions, be they accurate, or not.

 

8

 

Minato finds out that he is wrong, but at the worst possible time.

It is October 5th, 2 am, and he is numb, and involuntarily speechless. Fuuka and Yukari are crying. So is Junpei, but he's hiding it by stalking over to buy something at a vending machine and angrily scrubbing at his eyes while his back is turned. It's just the second years, all huddled in the hospital waiting room, because at this hour no one else is here, and none of them want to go back to the dorm, where Koromaru is probably restlessly pacing at the front door, and the smell of delicious food still wafts from the kitchen. They also can't just abandon Mitsuru, who is arranging the details, as she always does. The administration has her in their office, probably talking about funeral arrangements, and giving her a death report, and probably talking about custody of the- of Shinjiro. The good thing about Kirijo money, is that they'll never have to explain what happened to anyone. The bad thing, is that no one will ever know that Shinjiro's death mattered. No one but them will ever care, and that's a disgusting thought.

Akihiko and Ken are gone. Minato wonders if they'll ever be back. He doesn't know. He doesn't know a lot of things.

At some point, he stands up, and walks away. No one stops him. For what seems like a very long time, he wanders the hospital halls. He probably shouldn't be allowed to do this, just walk around without a visitors permit, or without a destination in mind. In fact, he doesn't know how he does it. He just knows, that in a daze, he walks, and that no one stops him.

Somehow, he ends up in front of a door, that is not closed. Something tells him to go inside, maybe to hide from the rest of the world, and all the obligations, and the glaring failure and loss that was this horrible, horrible night. He doesn't know why, but Minato listens to the urge. He goes inside, and he shuts the door.

Inside the room, is a boy, with gray hair. He is laying on a bed, and he is not moving. For a moment, Minato thinks that he was right all along, that this boy is dead, just like Shinjiro is dead, and how could everything be so wrong all at once.

Then something beeps. Minato looks up, and it's a heart monitor. Undeniable proof, that the boy is not dead. It's a good thing, but at the moment, there is nothing good in the world that can make him feel better.

He probably isn't suppose to, but he checks the file on the door. The boy is named Souji Seta. Checking for anything else feels wrong, so he leaves it at that, and tries to find his way back to the others. Right off the bat, a nurse runs into him, and reads him the riot act. He wonders why she didn't find him ten minutes ago, but it doesn't matter. She escorts him back to the others, and once she sees the state they're in, she mutters a quick “Sorry for your loss,” before rushing off. That doesn't matter either.

At some point, this will matter, but for now, it doesn't. He doesn't know when it will.

 

9

 

Minato's mind is on funerals the next time he goes to see the boy. Souji, he reminds himself. The boy has a name, and it is Souji. He wonders if he's going to go to Souji's funeral some day, or if someone in his team is going to die. The solidarity of his busy lifestyle seems completely broken. He doesn't know what to do anymore. He thinks of his parents and Shinjiro, and distinctly remembers why he stopped talking at 10 years old. After six years, he's forgotten, but it all comes rushing back to him.

Being alone is so much safer.

He's wrapped up in his own problems, his own horrible little world, when he sees something moving. Minato looks over, and it's the boy, Souji, motioning for him to come closer. This isn't normal, and Minato isn't really sure he wants to be close to anyone right now. He'd rather they just stand there, like they always do, so he can mourn in his own little bubble. Maybe it was selfish to come here, in broad daylight, and expect that Souji would just leave him distraught and upset. He doesn't have the strength to protest, or just ignore the request, so he walks closer, and he sits down. They're very close now, if he wanted to, he could reach out and touch Souji. He's never done that before, and he wonders if he even can touch the boy. He's never tested his ghost theory. The thought makes him angry. He's known this person for how long now, and he's never touched him, never even tried. Minato is reminded of what a sad, sorry little human being he is, and how much time he wastes doing things that don't matter.

Without a word, the boy sits down next to him. They stay like that for a while, close enough to touch, but not touching. Then Souji breaks it, he leans over, and lays his head on Minato's shoulder. It's a solid weight, and Minato didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this. He feels like, for just this moment, he isn't going to float away.

Minato doesn't realize he's crying until he's been doing it for probably hours. He hasn't cried in 6 years.

 

10

 

At the end of October, Minato decides that he has to do something. It's been long enough that everyone is functioning as they normally would. Akihiko and Ken have returned to the dorm, their resolve somehow hardened, while Minato sill flounders in guilt, and goes through the motions of of what was normal. He doesn't know how they do it, but they do.

The final shadow is just around the corner, and with it gone, so will be the dark hour, and any real reason he had to go see Souji. He needs to solve that puzzle, fix it, before then. There has to be a reason that Souji can also see the dark hour. Minato doesn't know why he has such a sense of dread, but he does, and it does not go away.

He goes to the hospital, and visits Souji Seta. It's a pretty boring affair, if he's being honest. Sitting next to an immovable body is surprisingly not enjoyable. Which is strange, since that's sort of what they've been doing these past months anyway. Souji has been stationary, and Minato has come to visit, but this is nothing like it. When he visits Souji at Paulownia Mall, there is a sense of ease that goes with it. It's comfortable, and he doesn't know if it's the place, or the silent companionship. It's probably Souji himself, which is plenty of proof to Minato that Souji really isn't here. It's a body, not a person at the moment.

He needs to fix that, somehow.

 

11

 

“You're still alive.”

The look Souji gives him is not surprise. His face says 'I was wondering when this would come up', and Minato wonders if he should have said something sooner. It feels like he's been putting things off for a long time. It's not a good feeling. He doesn't know what he expected Souji to say, but when the boy says nothing, Minato swallows the lump in his throat, and keeps going.

“I visited you today. You're in a coma.”

The two of them are standing side by side, looking up at the blue sky. They tend to do this now, stand close. Ever since the crying fit, it seems wrong to put distance between them.

“I don't really remember.” Souji says simply, as if he's been repeating it in his head for a long time.

The look Minato gives Souji is meant to say 'What don't you remember?' From the contemplative look on Souji's face, he understands.

“I remember some things, but not much. Who am I, why am I here? I don't know.”

Minato nods, without really understanding. Even if he'd like to forget some things, he's never had amnesia, so it's not like he really understands. Perhaps the important part is that he wants to understand. “What do you want to know?” It seems like a good enough starting point.

Souji looks back up at the sky, and the little white clouds that are floating by. “Everything, I guess?”

Minato can't do that. He can't find everything, but it's a place to start.

“Your name is Souji Seta.”

 

12

 

Around preparing for the Fortune shadow, and school, and dark hour duties, and the hollow feeling that is writhing in his gut trying to get out, Minato does some detective work.

He visits Souji's old school, and noses around the office for information. He expects people to tell him no, but when they see his SEES arm band, with it's Kirijo logo on it, they sort of just give him everything he wants. Nepotism at it's finest, he supposes, but it works.

Souji Seta, age 14. Injured in a car accident on April 6th, currently taking an extended leave of absence. There is no mention of the coma in his school files. Just that he was injured, and that his parents pulled him from school for the time being.

Once he's done with the administration, he talks to Souji's classmates. Most of them say very little. They remember him. The accident was tragic. He was new. He seemed nice. He didn't say much.

Minato then visits the drama club, where Souji was a member. The answers are similar to the classmates. He was new. He got the lead role in the play we were doing, but the role was recast after his accident. Is he in another school now?

It doesn't feel like much information, but he takes the time to go over it all in his head and write it down. He doesn't want to forget anything. His note taking skills have proportionally increased according to his test scores, and he's at the top of his class now, so he does a good job of putting the information together.

He gives it all to Souji that afternoon, along with a book about cats that one of the girls in the drama club gave to him. She said Souji lent it to her, and that she'd kept it in her bag ever since, hoping he would come back to school so she could return it. It has a childish inscription written on the first page.

Souji looks over the notes blankly, but when his face falls upon the book, a rare, honest smile comes to his lips, and his eyes sort of sparkle.

“I remember this,” he says, with reverence in his voice. “It was a birthday present from my cousin. She's four. She picked out the book.” Souji runs his hand over the glossy cover. “It came in the mail one day, a week after my birthday. I was surprised, I'd never met her before. It was...” Souji stops, and he flips open the book to read the inscription, written in a child's clumsy scrawl. “nice.” He finally finishes, after tracing the words with his finger two or three times.

After a long silence, Souji flips through some of the pages, his eyes searching them. “Her card said that everyone likes cats, and that she likes books, so she got me a book about cats.” He stops there, looking over some of the images of different kinds of cats. “Her mother died.” He finally says after he's gone through several pages. “My cousin's mother died, and if her father is anything like my parents, she's all alone too.” Souji says these words, as if they are simply coming to him, like little bubbles rushing up from the depths of the ocean. “When I got it in the mail, it made me feel like I wasn't alone. I kept it with me, so I wouldn't forget.”

He shakes his head, dispelling some of the lingering doubt on his face. Souji gently closes the book, and hands it back to Minato. “I hated being alone. I think when I got here, the first time, I thought 'Here, there will always be people, so even if I'm lonely, I won't be alone.'” Souji looks at him with a sad smile, and then looks back up at the sky, now a brilliant shade of orange, as the sun starts to set. The colors make him glow in warm light, and Minato can't help thinking it is so much better than the sick green shade of the dark hour. Souji takes a deep, shuddering breath, his eyes still on the sky above them. “As the time went by, I forgot that there was anything other than this place. Maybe I wanted to forget.”

Souji turns to look at Minato then, and he's smiling sadly. “There are things you want to forget too, right?” Minato thinks of Shinjiro, of his parents, and averts his eyes. He nods once, but Souji knows the answer already, so it's not much of an answer.

“I thought it would be easier to just stay here, to stand still.” Minato can understand that, he's been fighting with the same thought this past month. He still doesn't really have an answer, but he knows he'll keep going anyway. Minato averts his eyes, because by now, he should have some sort of resolve, he should want to work hard to finish everything, but it would be so much easier to just stop.

When he has the courage to look up again, Souji is smiling at him, and it's bright and it's kind and it's completely disarming.“But keeping my head in the sand doesn't fix anything.” Souji sighs, and his smile wavers. “I've seen people hurt, I've seen people who needed help, and I couldn't do anything. I even dragged you into this, so that I wouldn't only be a specter. It really wasn't what I wanted at all. I know that now.”

Souji's voice trembles, and his eyes dart away. “I should have asked you more questions. There are still so many things I don't understand about you, about everything that happened. When you'd leave, sometime I thought it was better if I didn't know, because I knew you were in danger. You're not weak, but you're too kind. I worried a lot, but I thought if I asked, that would change this, us, what we had, and that scared me.” Souji chuckled then, and looked back at Minato. “But that's nonsense. Things changed on their own. You answered my prayers without a word. You came and chased away all the nightmares, and then you started coming during the day too. And I missed you more every time you left. Knowing each other made us grow and change together.”

“I didn't think it was possible for anything to move, or change me like this, but you proved me wrong.” For the first time, the boy with the gray hair, takes a tentative step forward, and then another. “I'm still afraid. What if you don't like the me in that hospital bed? What if I don't remember any of this when I wake up? It's terrifying, because what we have is something I don't ever want to lose, but I can't keep staying here. I want to go to the movies again, and the arcade, and school, and I want to send dumb messages with obnoxious emojis. I want to see where you live, and meet your strange friends, who could all beat me up if they wanted to.”

“They wouldn't-” Minato blurts out, then promptly bites his lip. “beat you up. They wouldn't beat you up.” He feels like the king of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, but when he looks up, Souji is smiling at him again, his face splitting as he laughs at the comment.

Souji comes back with a simple “But they could,” which is filled with beautiful mirth. And, well yes. Yes they probably could. Souji is 14 and has been comatose for 7 months. It wouldn't be much of a fight.

“What I'm getting at, Minato-” His name sounds just right when Souji says it. “is that you're important to me, and even if we change, that won't. Even if I don't remember you, there will always be a part of me that will miss you, and want you close. I'm sure of that now.” Minato is struck speechless, because there is truth in what Souji says, but the thought of being forgotten is almost unbearable. He knows that if it happens, he'll start again, that he'll always hold these memories in his heart and keep moving forward. He doesn't have the resolve that the rest of his team does, and part of him thinks that he might never find that sense of completeness, but he knows he'll keep going, because he has to. For everyone who thinks he can, he must, and he will.

Minato has so many things he wants to say, so many things that need to be said, but none of it comes. He blinks, and suddenly, Souji really does look like a ghost. He's see through, the light of the sunset cascading through him, and Minato panics. He has to say something, he can't just let Souji disappear on him without saying his peace. He reaches, but his hand goes right through Souji's shoulder.

Souji only smiles in sympathy at his obvious distress. “I'll miss being here, with you.” He shuffles his feet anxiously, still fading fast. “Will you visit me?”

By the time Minato opens his mouth, Souji is gone. He's alone now. Again. There is no one to hear his answer, but there was really only one answer to begin with.

 

13

 

He brings a plant, in a little plastic pot, because Yukari tells him he should. If he's learned anything in his lifetime, it's to listen to women when they give instructions. Listening to Fuuka saves his life on a regular basis. He doesn't know what the plant is, but it has nice yellow flowers. For some reason, he thinks Souji likes yellow. He has no reason to think this, it's just a feeling, but he's good at following his feelings.

He has the book about cats in his bag. He doesn't know if he'll give it back this time, or not. He's sort of hoping that Souji will ask for it back, but that's probably wishful thinking.

Minato slowly glances through the little window in the door. Inside the hospital room, is a boy, with gray hair, looking up at the sky through the window by his bed. Minato takes a deep breath, and opens the door.

 

0

 

Souji isn't completely sure why he came, he just knows that he needs to. He has no other explanation.

The guy just starts showing up about a week after Souji wakes from the coma. 

The guy never says much, but he brings a daffodil plant, that Souji still lovingly cares for, a Black Frost doll that seems like a strange gift now, a few CDs that Souji has grown disgustingly attached to, and books from one of the used book stores in town. In fact, they hardly talk at all. The poor guy always looks like he's trying to say something, but never gets it out. It doesn't make much sense, and still doesn't, because Souji doesn't remember meeting him before the accident, and they don't even go to the same school. For a while, Souji wonders if the guy is the driver of the car that hit him, and is trying to apologize, but the nurse denies that. That person is apparently in prison. 

The guy with the strange blue hair, would come a few times a week, and he'd bring books, or music to share, and they'd just sit together. It was strange, but it was nice. It makes his long hospital stay easier to bear. He never has any other visitors, but he finds he doesn't mind. There is something calming about the high school student, who dutifully sits with him, and chases his loneliness away without a word. 

The last time the guy visits is on January 30th.. It sticks out in Souji's mind, because it's such an odd visit, even for them. He is given two books. The first, is one that Souji remembers. It's a book that his cousin sent him, but he doesn't know how this person has it. The second, is a used day planner. It's filled with notations and reminders and nonsense. Souji doesn't know what to think about it.

He never comes back. 

Lonely weeks pass into a month. Souji is let out of the hospital. His mobility isn't great, but the doctors are amazed at how easily he takes to therapy. He is admitted back into school. The teachers want to send him work to do, so that he can do it all at home while he is recovering, but Souji insists on going to class, even if he missed most of the year. He doesn't want to stay home. He find himself drowning in make up work, and special lessons his teachers prepare so that he can go to high school on time. That is his parents largest concern. It seems like an impossible amount of work, but his parent's money, and his persistence usually solve most problems. 

Between all the things he's missed, and has to make up time for, he grows busy. His mind still wanders back to the high school student. He even applies to Gekkoukan, hoping that they will see each other again.

He doesn't hear about the horrible luck Gekkoukan is having though. He expects his parents to be pleased when he tells them he's going to take the exam to get into Gekkoukan, but they are not happy with his decision. “Two of their students died mysteriously in the last year. It's hurting their reputation. There are better choices.” His father says, as if he's casually mentioning the weather, and not two dead teenagers, and the half year that his son was comatose. 

Something settles in the pit of his stomach, and Souji just knows. 

So here he is, at a funeral, held in the auditorium of Gekkoukan High School, because his mystery visitor doesn't have a family, or a home, or anyone but his classmates to mourn him.

He feels like someone tore a chapter out of his favorite book, and now he'll never remember what happened, because it's just gone. He can only look at what happened before, and what happened after, and hope that one day it will make sense. 

Something leaves him forever at that funeral, but he's not sure what it is. He misses it.


End file.
